Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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