I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
