just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well I just put wine in my tea
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
