Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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