i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is my gift to your gina
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
