i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
