I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
