I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
