Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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