My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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