whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Two words: nipple clamps
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