After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
