4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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