Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
how does that bad decision feel?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
