The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
