I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
