I'm so fucking centered right now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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