just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize