so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
bring money and cleavage
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
