My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just want to make out with him forever
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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