Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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