I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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