cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?