I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.