Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish