That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
