so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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