I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
