So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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