ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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