i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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