careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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