i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
