his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
