There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
