Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
