I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
