I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
