when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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