My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize