he shaved USA in his pubs
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
