she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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