so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
FUCK WHALES
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Panties = found
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
