get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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