We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
