Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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