I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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