it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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