Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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