i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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