There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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