come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize