Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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