You really coming over, don't trick.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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