I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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