we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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