I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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