he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize