speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
