I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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