Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
