biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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